newVideoPlayer("/10women_def.flv", 506, 423,""); You didn't think we'd post last week's Top Ten of the coolest male TV characters without following up with one dedicated to all the honeys, now, did you? And while our definitive men's list—checked and rechecked by a panel of TV experts canvassed at various local correctional facilities and gourmet coffee outlets—surprisingly met with some vocal opposition, we're confident its vagina-filled counterpart will please even the most persnickety of TV-lady lovers. There's only one way to know for sure, however. Click play, and decide for yourselves.

• Previously: The Top 10 TV Characters Men Want To Be Like And Women Want To Be With [Defamer]

We have to admit that while viewing a slideshow of features from Roland Emmerich's quirky London townhouse, we felt a momentary pang of affection for a man whose work had given us such personal and professional displeasure over the years. Seriously — how can anyone stay mad at a guy who has a waxwork of Pope John Paul II under his stairs (reading his own obituary, no less) or who pits a taxidermied zebra against massive Mao murals in his living area or, deliciously, keeps Prince Charles and Princess Diana dolls displayed in his fireplace? More to the point, how was this man responsible for 10,000 B.C.?

We have other questions as well — including an open Defamer inquiry into the identity of an unusually sexy bedside photo subject. Help us figure it out after the jump.

Upon closer inspection, and in keeping with the home's general theme of despot-chic, we are all but certain that the mystery man pictured in Emmerich's guest room is none other than Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. But we've never seen him looking so... hot. We're open to other suggestions (one immediate suggestion around HQ was Bronson Pinchot, which, frankly, we'd prefer) and decor commentary as well. We don't even know if 2012 could squander the Emmerich goodwill we're feeling right now.

[Photos: NYT]

• A London Home to Shock the Neighbors [NYT]

Being a Broadway actress is hard work!  Just ask Katie Holmes, who has been steadily attending long days of rehearsals in preparation for her big stage debut.

The “Pieces of April” cutie was spotted again earlier today (August 7) on her way into the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre for more practice.  After all, the show opens for preview audiences September 18th so there’s much work to be done.

In his new movie Pineapple Express,  James Franco plays a visibly unwashed hippie pot dealer on the run from mobsters.  The New York Daily News talked to Franco at the film’s after-party at Tenjune Tuesday night, and asked him about the alleged stolen uncredited t-shirt design he wears in Pineapple Express. WOWCH, a Brooklyn t-shirt marker claims the concept art of a shark eating a kitten was originally one of their designs created in 2005. Franco calls the allegations ridiculous and says it was an original design by the director, David Gordon Green.

Franco explaimed. “We completely created that shirt and that shark. David wanted me to wear a purple Monterey Bay T-shirt with a whale on it. I said I wasn’t into the whale shirt, so he came up with his own design, which was the shark.”

Then in the middle of the interview two attractive young ladies intervene and the interview takes a quick turn:

Girl: You look familiar.

Franco: I dunno. Have we met?

Girl: I saw you on screen an hour ago.

Franco: On the street?

Girl: No! On the movie screen! You were in the movie we just saw!

Girl 2: I loved it. I’m [Name removed].

Girl: I’m [Name removed]. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Franco: Hi. I’m James.

Girl 2: Where are you from?

Franco: Well I’m moving here to New York City very soon …

Publicist (interrupting): You know girls, this is the Daily News right here …

Daily News: Give me two seconds, and then you can tell him everything that you ever wanted to.

Girl (grinning widely): Like all my favorite sexual positions?

Franco (turns to the Daily News and smirks): I’ll borrow your tape recorder for that!

Handsome and smart too! The actor graduated from UCLA last month after taking English literature courses between film roles for the last few years and is determined to focus on attaining a higher degree over the next year or so. As part of his move to New York, Franco is heading to graduate school this September to help improve his movie script writing skills.  Looks like he’ll make new friends fast!!

She’s been in Cabo San Lucas for the past couple of days doing promotion for her new film “Disaster Movie.” And yesterday (August 6) Carmen Electra enjoyed some time off in the sunny locale.

The “Meet the Spartans” babe and her Korn guitarist fiancé Rob Patterson were spotted making their way around town enjoying some of the local flavor and doing a bit of shopping.

Times are tough for our friends in the print media — especially for the staff of the Hollywood Reporter, which has weathered shakeups and a redesign in the shadow of trade titan Variety. Now, from Sharon Waxman, comes word that the Reporter is going on the block (along with other Nielsen publications like Billboard and Adweek) and that one of the higher-ups has been pitching the paper to the New York Times:

According to a media executive with direct knowledge of the meeting, a principal in one of the Valcon private equity firms floated the idea of a purchase by The New York Times at a meeting of the Times' board of directors this week. (I cannot reveal the identity of the executive to protect the source, who spoke on condition of anonymity.)

But that doesn't sound like the right fit to me. The New York Times is not in the business-to-business business. And I'm not sure why a big media company saddled with a core print business would take on more dead-tree properties.

Duh, recycling money! Anybody got a few Diet Coke cans to kick over to the beleaguered folks at the Reporter?

• Hollywood Reporter is For Sale: NYT gets the pitch [Waxword]

The Tila Tequila of stand up comedy, Dane Cook, was told to wait a little bit before entering the popular Hollywood watering hole Crown Bar on Wednesday night. The bouncer told Cook that he would have to wait because the bar was over the capacity for jerks. The bouncer said, "There's always a lot of douchey, jerky guys here every night, but I think the jerk store is having their office party here tonight or something. So we're at our quota right now. I don't know how long it's going to be, though." Cook's friend thought if the wait was going to be really long that they should just go over to Happy Endings or some place like that instead.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

British soul singer Joss Stone reportedly headbutted her own brother at a baptism where she was to be the godmother of his son!  Joss arrived 30 minutes late at her half brother’s year-old son’s baptism, angering her family.  She then refused to properly read some church prayers and when confronted by elderly relatives she called them “old biddies”.

A guest reported that Joss blamed traffic for being late, but went on to say, “You would think as the kid’s godmother she’d be on time. And as she recited the order of service, she failed to read what she was given. It showed lack of respect to the family.”

When her brother intervened on her obnoxious behavior, the willful singer turned violent! One guest revealed to the Daily Mirror:

“She was absolutely furious and they had a full-blown argument. They were screaming at each other and the next thing, Joss headbutted him. Other family members ran over to break it up and she stormed off. It turned from a nice family affair into a brawl between Joss and her brother. No one could believe it.” 

That really sucks that she turned a happy family moment  into a total disaster.