· Laurence Fishburne is in negotiations to take over for the departing William Petersen in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, in which he'll play a scientist who "has the same genetic profile as a serial killer," much like the sociopathic cowboy he played on Saturday morning TV in the late '80s. [THR]
·Load up on guns, bring your friends: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video director Sam Bayer will direct the Michael Bay-produced noir action thriller Fiasco Heights for Universal. [THR]
·Suspiciously obtained reality show concept Wipeout, a surprise summer hit for ABC, has been renewed for another season of waterlogged, spine-snapping fun. [Variety]
·Taking Woodstock, Ang Lee's totally weird movie starring Demetri Martin as the gay decorator inadvertently at the center of the legendary music festival, will begin shooting this month, with go-to Period Gay Emile Hirsch added to the cast.
· Tony-winning Best Play August: Osage County is being prepped for a movie version, probably to star Meryl Streep, with a snappier plot based on a series of loosely-strung-together Roxette songs. [Variety]

The New York City paparazzi are certainly getting their fill of Katie Holmes, as she was spotted again earlier today (Wednesday) heading into work.

The “Dawson’s Creek” darling has been the picture of discipline, maintaining a constant schedule of rehearsals to prepare for her big Broadway debut in the musical “All My Sons.”

As first noted here a few weeks back, ye olde stalled Robin Hood epic Nottingham is all but dead in the water now at Universal, where Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe and Sienna Miller were locked in to start shooting this month before a flurry of setbacks delayed it indefinitely. As presumed, labor woes and casting haggles were indeed among the pitfalls, but you have to know that an implosion of this magnitude can't simply stop there — as described after the jump, Crowe's weight, Scott's attention span, script haggles and other factors also conspired to keep Hollywood out of the forest this time around.

Keep in mind this is the same script Universal bought more than a year ago for seven figures, piling on none-too-cheap rewrites by Brian Helgeland and now, according to Patrick Goldstein, British playwright Paul Webb. But that's the least of his problems, said Uni chair Marc Shmuger:

The original script had enormous appeal because it had what Hollywood craves—a great part for a big movie star. But it wasn't exactly the kind of character Scott imagined for his vision of Sherwood Forest. "The script had the sheriff of Nottingham as a CSI-style forensics investigator, set in medieval times," Shmuger explains. "It was really well written, but Ridley's interest took him in a different direction." ...

The delay could help on one front. Crowe, who has looked, shall we say, like he's been feasting on the king's venison in recent films, needs to lose some weight before he's ready to play such an athletic part. (After all, he's not playing Friar Tuck in this movie.) As encouragement, the production team plans to send Joe Abunassar, a top Las Vegas-based trainer who works with NBA stars, to Australia to get Crowe into fighting shape.

So old-fashioned! Everyone knows the Seth Rogen Stretch-and-Retch is the wave of the future. In any event, Shmuger confirms the studio still wants Nottingham, but all signs point to a mid- to late-2009 shoot for a 2010 release, which we take to mean that the U and Nottingham producer Brian Grazer should default to Ron Howard by the time you finish reading this. Alas, Ridley, you were close.

• 'Nottingham': Will Russell Crowe ever romp in Sherwood Forest? [LAT]

Quentin Tarantino reportedly wants Britney Spears to star in his remake of the 1965 Russ Meyer cult classic exploitation movie Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! In the film three thrill-seeking Pussycat strippers hit the road and encounter a young couple. Spears’ Varla character murders the boyfriend with her bare hands before kidnapping the girl. And Britney’s character gets to do sex scenes with another girl before the movie ends in a splatter-filled Tarantino bloodbath.

A movie insider tells the UK Telegraph:

“Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She’s delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around. It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She’s playing the most important character.”

Tarantino likes high profile stars ins his movies. He was recently in talks with Brad Pitt, to star in his next film, the World War II action tale Inglorious Bastards.

And it’s not like Britney hasn’t done a roadtrip movie before. Remember Britney’s first and only starring role in the Award winning movie “Crossroads,” as a high school grad on a road trip to find her long-lost mom? She won two Razzies for Worst Actress and Worst Original Song for that clunker. Spears is one of many Hollywood starlets linked with the movie, which was announced back in January.

First Shia LaBeouf broke his hand, now George Lucas breaks his heart: Speaking exclusively to MTV News, Lucas elaborated on the promised Indiana Jones 5, assuring disgruntled Indy fans that the sequel wouldn't center on LaBeouf's character, Mutt. “Indiana Jones is Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones. If it was Mutt Williams it would be ‘Mutt Williams and the Search for Elvis’ or something.” Lucas then paused, later calling David Koepp to pitch him an ending where Graceland rises spinning from the ground, blasting into outer space to return Mutt to his home planet. [MTV Movies Blog]

Yesterday, the Japanese paparazzi got an eyeful of Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz at the Imperial Hotel for the “What Happens in Vegas” press event.  And today, the two co-stars were joined by Kutcher’s wife Demi Moore at the big premiere.

Tokyo’s Marunouchi My Plaza was the place to be earlier today (August 6), as a throng of Japanese fans converged to catch a glimpse of the American film stars. 

The Silver Fox has struck again. Yesterday morning on “Regis & Kelly” Anderson Cooper basically called ‘Living Lohan’ show a trainwreck and Ali Lohan an alleged 14-year-old who looks 60 and wants to be a singer or striptease person.
Dina Lohan wasn’t pleased to have her daughter ridiculed and hooked up with OK! Magazine to respond with: “People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him.”

On his show last night Anderson decided to rehash the Regis events and added a few more choice comments. He said that Dina probably didn’t see his comment live “because she was out clubbing and it’s on early in the morning. So she was probably just rolling home.” He went on to say that he “feels bad” for Ali Lohan, but that she shouldn’t be in a seedy reality show.

boomp3.com

Looks like Liv Tyler should've asked her Armageddon co-star Ben Affleck for some tips on how to tip on the DL. While at LAX on Tuesday afternoon, Tyler attempted to slide the tip into the skycap's pocket, but the skycap mistook the gesture for something a bit more forward. Tyler explained that she was trying to tip him and didn't mean anything by it. The skycap smile and said, "You could just give it to me. No need to be a Sneaky Pete about things."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.